What you must know about me.

Holidays delight me, mischief, kissing while being tickled, and the sound of popcorn popping. I’m short, and I don’t weigh that much, my hair color is a bit on the dark side, and I don’t really know my political views just yet. I don’t take things that matter seriously, and I sometimes get offended by the little things, even when I know they aren’t anything to worry about. I’m known to break out into song/dance, so a boy who will dance with me anywhere I please is wholeheartedly welcomed. i am dubious of infomercials but I enjoy watching them as I fall asleep. My activities include making sounds, reading books, waking up early, and watching the young and the restless. The boy in the picture above is my everything and makes me smile like no one else. I have a slight limp, eerily tiny hands, and a preternatural love of autumn. i once misinterpreted being called infamous as a compliment when it was intended as an insult. I have a tan that very few can compete with, and my thumbs are short. I wiggle my feet in my sleep, wake up in the middle of the night to clean my room, am scared of the dark, and think that Penelope is one of the greatest films of all time. All i want is butterfly kisses in the morning, toe socks to sleep in, peanut butter sandwiches shaped like a heart, and to smile until it hurts.

Kayden Benjamin.

AKA Shug.
He's the apple of my eye. I didn't think it was possible to love something so tiny this much.

9/29/11

I am different.

I have brown hair.

And a so sweet nephew<3
I'll post about him in the morning, I'm sleepy.

"I am a great sinner, but Jesus is an even greater Savior."

Sumsumsummatime.

So basically, I'm a horrible blogger. I haven't blogged once about the best summer of my life. I didn't do much, it was more about who I spent my time with. It was definatly a summer of firsts. I'm trying to collect my thoughts about this summer but I'm just really overwhelmed. I guess I'll tell you about the few trips I went on. First was the trek. Let me just say, I'm weak. And I didn't realize how weak until the trek. I cried probably 13 times, in one day.. Yeah, that bad. I had a pretty gnarly fall, too. Trip over some rocks. I know, I'm so graceful. But seriously, the trek was amazing. I grew so much closer to my ward and I realized how much I really love them. Before I never wanted to go to church because Hannah was moved out of my ward, but since the trek, I now enjoy it. The day after the trek I left for California with my dad. We went to San Diego this year. I love San Diego. It's perfect. And the temple, oh my gosh. After California I stayed home for a few weeks and then went to Girls Camp. So amazing. This year, Tara Bodrero came to camp. She changed my life. Before camp I would get upset over little dumb things. But seeing the trials Tara is going through and how much strength she has, all my problems seem like spilled milk. I'm so grateful that she came to camp, she made this year worth going. The last trip I took was with my mom, Logan, and Grace. Last Monday my mom decided we were going to California. So we left Tuesday night. I love those trips, they kind of happen a lot in my family. We stayed with our cousins, the Colwells. Cassidy wasn't there so I hung out with Chase. He took me to Huntington for the US Surf Open. Sooo much fun. We saw Kelly Slater and Bethany Hamilton. We also went to Six Flags. There's a lot of other stuff I have to say about my summer, but I'll get to that later.
xo, als.

New Love.

I have a new love. Well actually it's a love-hate relationship. I've started running. I don't know why i started. One day I was sitting in my room and I just started putting my shoes on. I don't know why came over me, but I'm really glad it did. I feel so much better about myself now that I'm running. Before I wasn't doing anything and it was started to make me mad. But that's kinda it. I like it, I just have to keep telling myself not to stop.

Also! SCHOOL IS OUT IN THREE DAYS!! WHADDDDUP JR. YR.!?

This is what I looked like today.

It's May!

Can you believe it?!
May is my favorite month, only 19 more days of school. My only goal is to stay focused.

How can you not love a Ginger?! Seriously.

See these girls? They pretty much are my favorite. We like to go sunning in our bathers allll day and then swim and isolate ourselves from the other because we're hilar and ride our bikes to the party we weren't invited to.. and not go it.
"Why would you like the smell of it?!"

Gracie G.

WE SO CUTE.

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.

The title pretty much says it all. I just need to be done with it all.
"The best feeling in the world comes when you realize that you're perfectly happy without the people you thought you needed most."
I'm not sayig it'll come easy, but it'll come and when it does- it'll be great.

"I've got 99 problems.."

Being in high school I think it's natural to feel like there are other people that are better than you. And lately I've been thinking this a lot, and mainly about one girl. She's adorable, she has the perfect car, the cutest clothes she's friends with everyone and no one has a mean thing to say about her. But tonight when I was talking to a friend she told me how this girl was having some issues, and I started thinking about how I pictured her to have this perfect life, when really everyone has their trials. Some just make it more known than others.


Don’t think when you have troubles
That your neighbor goes scot-free
Because he shows a smiling front
And battles cheerfully.


No, Man! He, too, has troubles,
But herein the difference lies,
While you go idly moping round,
The other fellow tries.

Don’t envy other people;
Maybe, if the truth you knew,
You’d find their burdens heavier far
Than is the case with you.

Because a fellow, rain or shine,
Can show a smiling face,
Don’t think you’d have an easier time
If you could take his place.

‘Tis hope and cheery courage
That incite one to retrieve
One’s past mistakes, to start afresh,
To dare and to achieve.

So smile, and if perchance you light
The spark of hope anew
In some poor sad and burdened heart,
All honor be to you.

-Anonymous

It's a twisted story.

It happens everyday. And it goes a little something like this:
We text right after school.
By dinner time we've already started fighting.
By 9 we've apologized.
He calls at 10.
We talk until one of us can't fight the tiredness anymore.
DO IT AGAIN THE NEXT DAY.

And you know what? I hate this. So Today I decided I wasn't going to text him because last night was bad. And I was doing soo well. Yeah, it was hard. Really hard. It felt like something was missing, a couple times I had to stop what I was doing because I thought I had forgotten something. But no, it was just because Brady wasn't talking to me. But right when I started telling myself I could do this and it won't be as hard as I think it'll be, he texted me. Trying to act like nothing was wrong, when we both stopped talking while we were angry last night. And I know that's the worst thing to do. My Dad will always tell me, "Alls, you can be mad at someone just make sure you forgive them before you say goodbye." But it just made me soo angry how he just texted me like nothing happened, it's like he knows I'll be holding on and that I'm trying to let go but he doesn't want me to let go because he likes that I care so much it does something for his ego. It builds him up knowing that he can take me down at any second.

"Please don't make me wait just because you know I will"

I guess it's a bit funny

We all claim to expect nothing from people, or atleast I do from a certain person, and in that sense we’re never disappointed. But who can really keep their hearts from hoping, even a little bit?

We all hope that someone will surprise us, that someone will be different, that someone will prove themselves to be above the heard rending pain we’ve had before. But in the end it just feels like its the same person, the same relationship, the same conversation and excuses… wearing a mask of a different face.

We fall, look around for someone to blame… then we get back up and do it all again.

Everything and Nothing.

He's annoying. He's hilarious. He's the world's biggest jerk, he makes me want to scream, he ruins my day and saves it at the last minute, he drives me crazy, he's out of his mind, I hate his guts and he's everything I want.

It's a problem.

I'm a girl obsessed. With getting a car. But you see, I have a bit of a dilemma. I don't have a job. So I can't pay for the insurance and gas. And you know what that means, No tengo el coche. But for now I'm stuck dreaming about a dodge nitro or a mini cooper. Love em'.

U smile.

Oh hellllo. I've neglected this blog for a long time now. And I'm really sorry, will you ever forgive me blog? I sure hope so. I've been using my tumblr blog the past like year, and then I realized it was stupid because it wasn't even a blog anymore. It was more a web thing that I named after me and posted pictures of random stuff that I liked. I'm not going to do like a whole big update about what I've been doing lately, because everything and nothing has happened and if I did do that I would probably forget the super important stuff and talk about the dumb stuff. So I'll just talk about what's been on my mind.

Let me tell you about a boy named Brady Bunch. Brady is in my 5th hour and we've been friends since swim season and he had a relationship with one of my best friends that I've made this year, Ansley. In 5th hour he would always joke around and be like, kiss me on the cheeck blahblahblahimdumb. And on Valentine's day, we were walking back to class after we went somewhere and he opened the door for me and said the I owed him a kiss on the cheek, and so totally joking- I did. It was a friend kind of thing. I did not like him then. The next day there was a basketball game and I was at home babysitting yoyo and G, and we were texting and then Hannahh came over and my parents got home so we decided to go to the game. But we got there like 5 minutes before it was going to end so I was kinda ticked off that we missed it. We almost left but for some reason, we stayed. Then the game ended and I wanted to leave right away, but as I was walking out B stopped us and talked us into going to Nielsons. So I drove with Brady and when we were leaving, we kissed. After that kiss, it almost turned into a game. We both kinda decided that we did not like eachother, we just like kissing eachother. I knowww, such a teenager highschool thing. STUPID. But after a couple days of kissing, I started to like him. Stupid Allie. I told him, and great suprise he felt the same way. So we kinda had a secret flirtationship (definition of flirtationship: more that a friend ship less than a relationship). And I should've just been fine with things then and how they were. But people started finding out and a few weeks after everything started, we went to a basketball game together and people kept asking us what was going on and we never really had a straight answer. Which was totally fine for B, but not for me. I'm not that kidn of person, I need answers or it drives me crazy. So I kinda told him we either make it official or we stop everything. And honestly we should've ended everything, it would've hurt a lot less. But we didn't. And lo and behold, it ended shortly after. I didn't want things to end, but he did so I couldn't argue with that. But a couple days after that we started talking again and then we had early release and so we decided to go out to lunch. We went to Costa Vida, but every person from Mountain View also went there. So instead we went to Rumbi, and a group of girls were there that he is really good friends with. And it was just kind of weird.. I don't know. Sorry that was completely irrelevant from the story. But that day I plainly told him I didn't like being just friends, and he said he didn't either. And I know this does not mean we're back together. I'm not one of those stupid girls who thinks that. Trust me. But things were kinda like how they were before we made everything official, and i loooved it. When things are good between me and him, everything is perfect. That's when he makes me so happy and will do anything to cheer me up when I'm down. But the weekend after that he went to California for Spring Break. And a couple days after he left, he started to act really weird and distant. And so all of spring break I was worrying about it and I'm not saying it ruined my sb, but it definatly could've been better. So then he told me he didn't like me, and it sucked. While he was in California, he put pictures on facebook of him and another girl, and I really didn't think anything about it because I thought he was with his cousins. But when school got back, other pictures were put up and let me just say, I would not take pictures like that with my cousin. And so I asked him who it was and he told me it was some girl named Charli who lives next to his cousin. His cousin lives in California. And there were pictures of them at his house. in Arizona. Cooooooool. And so that kinda explained why he was acting like that. And honestly it just makes me feel like junk. Do not agree with me when I say I don't like being just friends if you don't mean it. Just don't say anything you don't mean. That's crappy. I deserve so much more than only being there for him when he wants me there. I just miss how things were when it was good and we'd dance in the kitchen and jump on the trampoline. He just made me so happy and that's why I can't just move on. Because once I do try to, he's nice all over or I'll think to myself "well maybe in the summer time things will be good". But guess what Als? It won't change. He won't change. The only thing that i can control the change of is how I feel about him. And that's even hard to control. I can try all I want to make him change his ways, but he won't. And that's not right of me to do. I just want him to decide for himself that he wants to change and stop the whole cycle of liking someone and then finding someone else and not telling the other girl. And I don't know if it's right for me to put all this on my blog where people can read it. But I think it's important that people know what really happened because Brady and I happened so fast that people didn't really know what to think about it. And they didn't like it, and some were even rude about it. Rude about a relationship that they had nothing to do with. I got texts saying how messed up I was for liking him. Sorry, but it's none of your bussiness. And he got texts from one of his good friends saying she hated him for being with me. Cool. And really, we're such a bad match. We always fight and we can never agree on anything. The only thing we agree on is that we can agree to disagree and that's an oxymoron within itself. It just hurts knowing that you care about someone way more than they do about you. Rant over.


"We had our time, honey bun."